"It smells like a pool store in here," he says, bursting through the front door of the brick-and-mortar and onto the showroom floor like he just invented polyquats.
You laugh politely, because making the sound a cat makes while coughing up a hairball would be wrong, right? That’s what pool retail trains you to do.
But behind that polite, professional exterior, you quietly add his sentence to a running list of slightly annoying things customers like to say. Just because you take a professional, detached view of the job, and sardonic humor helps you cope.
Compare this list of mildly maddening customer phrases against your own — come on, you know you’ve got a few — and maybe together we can assemble an all-time Hall of Fame list. Hit me up in the comments or email. Here we go:
“WHY IS YOUR PRICE SO HIGH? SPLASH ‘N DASH POOLS CHARGES LESS.”
Here, I follow the Beetlejuice guideline. Say the name of the fly-by-night who undercuts the market twice, like they control what the market will bear, and
I’m out. Because by the time they’re gearing up to say it a third time, I know Splash ‘N Dash is going to appear, say something irritating and become their pool service.
“WE HAVE A PARTY ON SATURDAY. CAN YOU CLEAR THE WATER BY THEN?”
I refuse to get dragged into the “Party on Saturday” urban legend and classic pressure play designed to manufacture urgency.
That’s the kind of thing only a certified chooch would spew. Fake urgency doesn’t rearrange my day. Some folks won’t let facts ruin a perfectly good ego narrative about why they come first. No problem. We have a pricing structure for that. It’s called the Emergency Service Rate.
“I’M GOING TO CUT MY PUMP RUNTIME TO TWO HOURS A DAY TO SAVE ELECTRICITY.”
My answer: “That’s fine. Tell whatever service company that’s servicing your pool next week that I said hello and best of luck.”
This is clearly outlined in the service agreement. Equipment operation schedules fall under professional control because circulation and filtration are foundational, not optional.
“WHY ARE YOU PUTTING CHLORINE IN MY POOL? YOU’RE GOING TO RUIN IT! IT’S A _____ _____!”
Hint: Two words. Sounds like ‘Halt Daughter Ghoul.’
Is it their fault they don’t know a saltwater pool is a chlorine pool? Not entirely. Back when these things were first becoming popular, a few major players in the industry would advertise SWGs as a chlorine alternative. “You’ll never need chlorine from the pool store again!” I’m not gonna drop names, but if you hit me up, I can send you the ads.
“CAN I RECORD YOU DOING THAT WITH MY PHONE?”
My answer: “Okay, but my SAG-AFTRA pay rate is at $4,300.”
As long as you’re paying me appropriately to drive our relationship into extinction, I’ll happily be the star in your video tutorial. But let’s keep it all up front and above board, you are preparing to pilfer what I know and go DIY.
“I WANT TO SWITCH TO AN EVERY-OTHER-WEEK SERVICE. WHAT WOULD THAT COST?”
My answer: “Double the per-visit rate.” Biweekly service doesn’t halve the work; it concentrates it. Expecting the same outcomes for less compensation misunderstands the labor involved.
Professional consistency, predictable outcomes, and accountability cost money. If the plan is to reduce service costs while maintaining full expectations, the business model doesn’t align with that.
I don’t do clearance aisle pricing. I don’t cheapen the service; the value is there. What I offer is worth every penny that I ask for. If I need the customer, instead, I change the scope. They want to pay less. Fine. We’ll remove tasks. The price goes down because the work goes down. Not because the service suddenly became less valuable. And if we’re editing the package, I’ll start with the items that are the biggest “pain in the ask.”
“...AND MY POOL MOTOR IS HOT.”
This old tchotchke.
This line gets attached to nearly every pool concern imaginable:
“I see algae starting... and my pool motor is hot.”
“My pressure gauge is stuck at zero... and my pool motor is hot.”
“There’s a leaf in my pool... and my pool motor is hot.”
“My spouse left me for the person who cleans my pool... and my pool motor is hot.”
They never noticed it yesterday. Or last year. Or the decade before. But suddenly, today, it’s the suspected cause of everything.
For clarity: A single-speed pool motor operating under normal conditions runs at around 120 degrees Fahrenheit (49 degrees Celsius) or higher. That’s normal. It’s not overheating. It’s not failing. It’s doing exactly what it was designed to do. They lose roughly 12% of the incoming energy due to heat loss alone. Not very green. But a warm motor does not automatically indicate a problem. If you can’t get them to chill about the heat loss of a squirrel cage, calm them down by installing a VSP. Permanent-magnet variable-speed motors run cooler, and that’s a legitimate benefit.
“CAN YOU GIVE ME AN ITEMIZED INVOICE SHOWING THE COST OF PARTS?”
This is something many service professionals encounter: requests to disclose distributor pricing. That isn’t transparency, it’s a misunderstanding of how professional service businesses operate. When it comes to them and me — them being the pool owner and me being the reason their pool is not a mosquito-breeding sepsis trough — the relationship is clear: I am an outside vendor, not their W-2 employee.
“WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN IT RAINS?”
My answer: “Get wet.”
I know why they’re asking. They’re waiting for, “We skip that day.” But I’m not a frigging landscaper, and I won’t melt if water touches me. Yes, sometimes service gets reduced to testing and chemical maintenance. That’s the reality of pool service. There’s no discount simply because Mother Nature has a conniption.
This is exactly why service agreements exist — to define expectations before frustration sets in.
Thunder? Lightning? Wielding a telepole is frightening (nod to Eddie Floyd). I’m not risking getting struck over a leafy bug. So yes, service may be postponed. But acts of God do not automatically result in a discount. Customers will either understand that, or they won’t.
“IF CHEMICALS ARE EXTRA, HOW DO I KNOW HOW MUCH THAT WILL BE?”
The answer is this: Not all pools are equal. Some are large. Some are challenging. Some experience heavy bather load, environmental debris, or unique conditions. Including chemicals at a flat rate would require pricing for worst-case scenarios, meaning customers with low demand would subsidize those with high demand, and we’re just not that kind of pool company.
Itemized chemical usage ensures fairness. You pay only for what your pool consumes, not the chemical vampire down the street that doubles as a bathtub for 12 kids, each with 12 friends, and a labradoodle named Charlie.
“CAN YOU CLEAN MY FILTER EVERY WEEK?”
This is excessive. It erodes profit. And it doesn’t align with the manufacturer’s instructions.
This is exactly why filter cleaning should not be bundled indiscriminately into service. And if you are eating that cost, don’t let customers bully you into doing more work than is required, or spending more time on their property than you intend to.
There are dozens of filter brands and models on the market, and they all share one critical commonality: the manufacturer’s written instruction to clean the filter when the pressure rises 8 to 10 psi above normal operating pressure.
You will never be wrong for following the manufacturer’s instructions. Ever.
Stand your ground.
Now, that said, if your protocol of care is to clean filters weekly, whether they technically need it or not, that’s fine. You do you. We all need something that sets us apart. Value-added service can be a beautiful thing. Just make sure you are getting paid for it; it shouldn’t be your loss leader. IMO.
These are my top 11 all-time most annoying things customers say. Of course, if you’ve been doing this for a while, you probably have your own. Send them over, and we’ll print the best of the bunch. I suppose, in fairness, we should put together a list of all the warm and friendly statements — the funny, humbling, day-makers we hear. But that’s a story for another time.
This article first appeared in the April 2026 issue of AQUA Magazine — the top resource for retailers, builders and service pros in the pool and spa industry. Subscriptions to the print magazine are free to all industry professionals. Click here to subscribe.
